Sly JACK-aholic Elizabeth decided to take advantage of JACK’s good nature and out due herself to get into JACK’s First Show. At first she offered to pray for the souls of JACK FM employees to save us from the hell that awaits us for being the greedy slave drivers we are, in exchange for four front row tickets, but when we declined she came up with another option. She knew what our greedy black hearts desire: Money. She offered us $3,000. We immediately saw the dollar signs and heard the cash registers open up. “CHA CHING!” We could use money to buy back those bathroom attendants that we used to employ here at the Dumpy Little Building, but we took a vote around the office and decided instead that TACA (Talk About Curing Autism) needed it more than we do. We here at the Gazette caught up with Elizabeth to see why she decided to give such a generous donation.
Gazette : So Elizabeth, why did you decide to donate money to TACA? Elizabeth: I’m a big time classic rock lover. Def Leppard’s music takes me to a place that I can’t get to on my own, so when the Church of Scientology denied my application because I didn’t make enough money I decided that JACK’s First Show would be the next best thing.
G : Interesting, so why $3,000?
E : It seemed like a good number. $100 is ok, but it doesn’t really do much these days, and the event lineup is outstanding.
G : Is autism that important to you?
E : Well I didn’t really know too much about Autism except that I have a friend with an autistic child. It’s a good cause. I am very passionate about the way music makes me feel and it’s even better when that passion helps people.
G : Who are you taking with you to the show? A few freeloaders who didn’t donate a dime?
E : A few of my closest girlfriends. Jennifer, Karen, and June. We are going to celebrate June’s 40th birthday... 40 going on 25. Karen is so excited she says he is going out to buy new panties.
G : This is your time to shine here. What do you want to tell the readers of this article? Anything at all? Like it says in “Airheads,” if you sold out the Forum and had the mic and all eyes were on you, what would you tell them?
E : Geez man, don’t put me on the spot like that! I hope this inspires others to bid more for tickets than I did. I thought about it afterwards and I could have asked for more tickets. Can I ? (laughs). Hey, it’s more money for autism. Oh yeah, and I Love Joe Perry!
Thanks Elizabeth AND Jack FM!
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I had Christian when I was 19 years old. For the first year of his life I couldn’t imagine anything being wrong with my baby. He smiled; he laughed; he rolled, crawled and walked on time. At age one he had a massive overload for his little immune system. He had two ear infections, a high fever, back to back treatment of major antibiotics and he was given his MMR, varicella and HIB vaccines while he was still very sick. Christian faded away for the next 6 months.
At age two he was diagnosed with full syndrome Autism. I met an amazing mother who introduced me to the group Talk About Curing Autism. Before I found out about TACA, I had no clue that there was hope for my child. From that day on I knew that it was my job to get my son back and undue what had been done to him.
It has been three years since Christian was diagnosed with Autism. I had taken what I had learned from TACA, found wonderful therapists, began a diet, found a DAN! Doctor, and took control of my child’s health. I heard his first word when he was 38 months old, and let me tell you, it was worth the wait.
Today Christian attends a typical private preschool. He is the only child in the class with a diagnosis…and none of the other parents know that. He speaks clearly, has friends, reads, pretends on the playground and even knows what he wants to be when he grows up (which of course changes weekly).
I can honestly say, if I had not found that mom (you know who you are), and not been introduced to TACA, I don’t know where Christian would be today and I don’t know if I would ever have been able to help other parents starting this journey. Thank you TACA, thank you my hero mom, and thank you Christian for fighting this with me. I love you.
Chelsi, Washington State
