Socialization & School Integration Ideas

Social skills for typical children comes with trial and error on the play grounds for the variety of unwritten rules in the very social world. For children on the autism spectrum this can be the most abstract and complex area for them to learn.

Working with specialists in the area of social skills and social skills groups can be a great way for a child on the spectrum to learn and practice their skills. It is recommended that families look to providers with experience in social skills specific to autism training for their child.

There are many solutions for teaching social skills to children that include:

  • in home support with flash cards, games, work books and structure play dates
  • at social skills clinics or play groups
  • at school with “lunch buddy” or groups facilitated at school

The remainder of this document attempts to outline ways to incorporate social skills learning in a variety of environments.

FINDING FRIENDS IN SCHOOL – Getting started:

Many children on the spectrum seem to get “stuck” in repetitive selection of a few classroom play items and was far more interested in solo than peer play or conversation. These are often activities that the children feel comfortable with and lean towards out of habit.

Every effort should be made to facilitate peer social inclusion included the following "friendship ideas". These can be facilitated in a number of ways. The most important item to considered are trained aides and supervisors in the area of social skills for children on the spectrum.

School "Play Rules" -- First, implementing some "play rules", communicated regularly to the child and which made peer requirements easier to implement in the classroom.

  1. School is for playing with friends -- he is not allowed to play alone at school. He must always find a friend to play with.
  2. It is the child’s responsibility to go ask friends to play (prompted or otherwise).
  3. They must ask friends to play a range of different activities each day.
  4. They must play a wide-range of activities each day (an idea or the friend's idea)
  5. They must sustain play with friends not with materials - he cannot be the first to leave the activity.

Understand what is going on in the Classroom:

  1. The first and most important step is to obtain an ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) trained therapist. This person should have experience with the ASD child prior to going to school so they understand their strengths, weaknesses and how the child operates.
  2. Observe the classroom. Be a classroom volunteer to help in the classroom and also observe behaviors of the children and routines so you can prepare your child.

Related reading on this topic for preparing your child.

Before you go to School – ways to prepare:

Children on the spectrum need time to prepare for the social process. Here are some ideas for helping your child make those first social steps:

  1. Create a "My School Wall" - Laminate a colored poster board from the Dollar store and put up in the kitchen or room. Change the theme-color each month. Regularly put up the class list, weekly Day 1-5 schedule, & monthly calendar and refer to them daily/as needed. Add social stories, crafts made at school, etc. Each month is a "fresh start" with a new board.
  2. Reinforce independence & compliance with routines -- Go into the school. Pose and take pictures of your child participating correctly in all routine-related activities - coat on hook, standing in line, eating at snack-time, putting toys away at clean-up time, etc. Poster and/or use for general discussion of the day's events, reinforcement and problem-solving during the year.
  3. Getting to know My Friends (Names)

    a) Poster different typed lists of class peer names all over the house -- kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, playroom -- in a variety of formats, with photos around it. Do as: 1st names only; 1st (big print) & last names (smaller print) the way name tags are used in the classroom for printing and seat identification; Class group names "Yellow star", "Blue flower" etc. Make the object shapes out of colored paper & poster the group list on top. Practice "Who's at your snack table", if different, and more conversations with those names.

    b) GAMES:
    - "Who's in your class?" How many names can be remembered. Work at just memorizing the names.
    - "Who's a boy/girl?". Pick three girls. Pick two boys.
    - "Who's in the "Yellow Star" group?" Other groups.
    - Go through the alphabet to guess the names that start with a specific letter. "Who's name starts with (letter)?"
    - Rhyming game - "Who's name rhymes with 'bed', that's right, Fred! Is Fred's head red? No it's black… ha, ha, ha! Who else has black hair?"

4) Getting to know My Friends (Faces, Preferences) -- Get a lot of pictures of peers and put up in a visible location on a rotational basis.

a) Personal photos - go in September and at all events during the year. Take photos of all the kids all over the school & on the playground, preferably with him in them as well. Use these photos to match up names to faces; poster up; talking about friends/activities all year.

b) Class photo -- blow it up really big in color at a self-serve copy place. Post the class photo it in the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, playroom. Talk about the friends from school every and anytime you can as you go about the daily business of living in your house - how lucky you are to have so many friends, how much fun it is asking them to play, what will you play tomorrow, who will you ask to play tomorrow.

c) Make personal/activity observations together -- in class, make him observe other kids and to comment on those observations. Ask questions in school that can be followed up at home, for example.
- "Look at (name). What color is her hair? Who else has blond/dark/curly/long hair?"
- "Look what (name) is doing" She likes to play big blocks" "What does (name) like to do?"; he repeats - "She likes to play big blocks".

d) GAMES:
- "Who is this?" drill until everyone learned - point to picture
- Memory about friends drill - "What does (name) look like?"
- Knowledge about friends drill - "What does (name) like to play with?"
(anything--just get the thinking going)

5) Make 'My Friends' Cards - Type out names and put on computer labels. Take 8 ½ x 11" card stock paper folded three times then cut into 8 squares. Put the labels on to make "Friendship cards".

a) Use in a game format to practice things like:
- greetings/partings (hi, see you later, goodbye)
- asking a question when we set up a situation "NAME what are you eating?"
- asking friends to play. Practice saying "NAME, would you like to play with me?". Then combine Name Cards with Activity Cards (see below).
"(Name), would you like to play (activity) with me?"

b) You can do all kinds of things with this:
- use a generic game board and roll a dice, where ever you land you turn over a card and ask the other person to play, make a comment etc.
- just turn over the cards and take turns using the name

6) Explore, visualize and memorize the location of all the activities in the classroom. Get to know all the toys and games that it is possible for your child to play with in the classroom. Go into the classroom together in ½ hr blocks over a period of 1-2 weeks (and later as needed) during lunch break when no one else is in the classroom. Explore the classroom in sections, looking at ALL the materials, talking about what we could do with them, how much fun it would be to play with it, practice asking to play. Divide the room into sections with names like "piano side", "window corner", where a number of things might be. Label "Dr.'s Office, "House", or "Science Centre" for bigger single centre-based areas.

a) Take pictures of each of the areas. Poster as a visual prompt for family discussion and use for play drills.

b) Type a list of all the possible activities that he could engage in. Use for general conversation at home (where, when, what did?), for greater visualization, familiarization and recall in identifying where things are in the classroom: Q-Where are (the big blocks)? A-Over beside the piano.

7) Make "Activity Cards" -- Type out the list of potential classroom activities and put on computer labels. Take 8 ½ x 11" card stock paper folded three times then cut into 8 squares. Put the labels on to make "Activity cards". Use in a game format to practice asking friends to play (a specific activity in the classroom).

a) Use the same (preferred) peer name and just run through a number of different activities to practice Yes/No responses.

b) Use a generic game board and roll a dice, where ever you land you turn over a card and ask the other person to play (activity).

c) Turn over the cards and ask the other person to play the activity
- where is this activity in the room
- how many kids can play at one time (if there is a restriction on number of children allowed to play at any given centre or activity)
- GAME - Match up game - take an activity card and match up the names of 3 kids who like to play that activity. Get him to try to look at who likes to play what.

8) Role play with Activity/Peer Cards - Practice, practice, practice asking friends to play, play, change play, leave play! -- School friends with school things; school friends with home things. "(Name) do you want to play (activity) w/me?".

9) Get peer play dates for home early in the year. Make your kid fun to be with.

a) Get contacts made as early as possible with other parents.

b) It's easier to obtain regular playdates if you go OUT for short but really neat activities (fun museum, new park, McDonald's playland.

c) Try to get a minimum 1-2 kids over each week for playdates at home. One child then build up to a playgroup. Build up the time 1 hr to 3+ hrs to work on sustained play.

d) Don't be shy about asking parents for admission fees.

e) Try to get a car pool for pick-up and drop-off.

f) No one ever invites back so quit being disappointed. You DO have to do all the work!.

10) Investigate the after-school day care programs. Find out what official "after-school" and/or home day care your child's class and/or grade-level kids feed into.

a) Make arrangements with parents to pick up kids from the day care. Take home or out for play-dates/groups. You need to bring them back.

b) Actively participate on-site in the after-school day care program -- Contact the day care and asking if you can participate on-site in their program. Day cares welcome volunteers with open arms. Just arrange to bring your child with you. There may be a regular open regular spot available. If not, regular kids usually give a few days' notice if they aren't coming in. Make arrangements to call weekly to see what's available. You do have to make yourself useful if they are going to make the extra effort to include you. Do structured/planned activities with smaller groups in another room, the gym, playground. Songs, talking activities, 'free play'. Use day care materials or arrange to bring in your own. You will be supervised.

An important closing note:

For children on the spectrum that go to school and work after hours at home and in social environments it can be a lot of work on concentrating and all the necessary steps. Just like anyone after a busy day, your child may need some “down time” after a busy day to do a favorite or preferred activity to decompress from the busy day.

It is important to schedule and allow for a favorite activity for your child every day. It is should be a set time that they can count on and look forward to after a busy day.

Book & Web Resources:

Web sites:

Books:

Workbooks & Flashcards:

  • Linguisystems has a VARIETY of work books, games, and flashcards for children at all levels and abilities – please see www.linguisystems.com
  • Super Duper has a VARIETY of work books, games, and flashcards for children at all levels and abilities – please see www.superduperinc.com
  • Academic Communication Associates has a VARIETY of great workbooks for pragmatics, problem solving, and social skills at www.acadcom.com (Harmon the Hippo is great for beginners at social skills.)

AUTHOR NOTES:

Special thanks to a variety of parents for their help on this document including Bennetta Bensen from the ME-LIST.